• Jessica McDonald

Who Is There

Sometimes I think if I stopped reaching out, who would be there? And I fear the answer would be no one.

In this time it's easy to feel so utterly alone. But we are all feeling the same weights in different ways.

I feel so much. I have such highs and lows. I was trying to understand why. I found that the passion I hold inside of me creates these extreme feelings of love, or fear or sadness or fulfillment.

So many people come and go, walk in and out and through our lives. What can be the point of it all? It leads to pain and heartache but it also leads to growth and lessons.

I'm not the person I was 2 days ago let alone 2 weeks or 2 months ago.

This makes me wonder if those around me then ever really knew me.

It makes me question if I ever really knew you, if I don't know the you of right now. Thinking that I never really knew you scares me most of all. And makes me question the purpose of any of it. Of letting myself fall, and love and open up. If people consistently walk through and out of our lives, why do we let them in at all?

What's the point of it all? Of loving, of falling, if it ends in hurting?

The point is it won't always end in hurting. I think when it does, it was always supposed to happen like that. Something wasn't right and there's something to learn from that.

Why do we let people in?

Can someone ever really know you? Is it only me who will truly ever know myself?

It can't be. If it is we are all lost floating around the world. But maybe that's exactly what we all are. Lost and floating around the world looking for some sort of connection, looking to feel in whatever way we can.

Feeling pain from love is better than never feeling anything at all. And that's why I keep going. That's why I keep opening up, becoming vulnerable and allowing possible pain to enter my life. Because connection is all we have. Love is all we have.

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