• Jessica McDonald

Finding Those Fulfilling Moments

Updated: Apr 12, 2020

There’s so much pain and heart ache and hurt in this world. But without that we wouldn’t find the joy.

The kind of conversations I had with Sadie last Friday were the ones where I stop and say, this is why I live. It is these conversations about love and pain and passion that allow me to understand what matters most. Which is the connection we form and share with others. We all desire to connect and to feel. But vulnerability doesn't come easy. Though when you think to yourself in certain situations "this is why I'm here" it's non comparable to anything else.

Sadie said to me what brings her this feeling is crying with others. Possibly one of the deepest forms of vulnerability and doing it alongside or within the embrace of someone else is what makes this world beautiful and real. Yet this act is quite uncommon.

Today I ran back to the lake for the first time in about a month. It was incredible. The amount I’ve changed just from a month ago is a lot to reflect and digest upon. The headspace I’m in is so different from such a short time ago. Coming back to the lake has allowed me to look at this more deeply. These moments of solitude teach me so much.

One other beautiful life moment I noticed today was the appreciation I have for music. Those songs where artists put their everything into it. Hearing the pain and love and depth to their emotions just through their voice makes me truly feel. I have found a new love for this type of music and find myself listening to songs like it everyday.

Life isn't only made up in these beautiful moments. There are undiscussed moments of pain and loss, fear and anger. Our feelings are meant to be felt but it can be instinct to ignore the hurt. Yet if we do that and if we suppress those feelings, the moments of joy won't run so deep either. I've heard it a million times but am just now starting to accept and appreciate that we must take the good with the bad.

In life I am searching for fulfillment. For the people, things, conversations that make me feel whole. These things I just mentioned are some I have just noticed in the past few hours. Some change and some remain a constant. But what are we doing here if we aren't looking for these moments of love, fulfillment and connection? These moments won't come without vulnerability and vulnerability won't come without fear. But ask yourself if it's worth it. And sometimes we need to be shaken up by tragedy to remember this. This is what has made me make this life change. But don't wait for something bad to make you begin to appreciate all the good. It’s not worth it to hold back. We’re not here forever even though sometimes it may feel like it.

Practice being present. The moments where I say to myself I am so grateful for this life, will never dull if I don't let them.

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